craziness

Today, our homeschool co-op had P.E. We have a YMCA instructor who comes and does the class. I have heard NOTHING but good things about it.

We missed the first time she came because of illness. Last Friday I did not attempt to go because my boys did not want to go. Weird. My very athletic, energetic boys should love P.E.

So when today came, I just told the boys that we had homeschool gym time and get ready to go. We drove out to the church where it is hosted, and my boys ran inside all excited. Their excitement stopped in the lobby. They WOULD NOT go inside the gym and line up with the other HAPPY kids.

Why? Why? Why?

Nate, my 7-year-old, actually was sitting on a chair CRYING. What in the world is going on?? So, then 5-year-old starts crying because he saw the jump ropes and says he doesn't know how to jump rope. I said, something about that is why she is TEACHING P.E....she will help you learn! He proceeds to start CRYING, also. OH THE FRUSTRATION!!!

So, what do I do?? I say, "WE'RE LEAVING!" The crying turned into WAILING, seriously...LOUD WAILING. Fun times. At this point, we are right by the church offices. I just start walking to the van with 3 of the 4 wailing. Of course, they wanted to stay at that point. There was no way I was going to allow them to stay...NO WAY.

I am very sad to say that I completely lost my cool and raised my voice at them in the van. I hate to say it, but I was embarrassed. I mean, shouldn't my kids be perfect? I mean really. Shouldn't we all just be perfect?? The perfect little family with kids that never act out?? Well, that just isn't going to happen, ever.

We are all fine now...I have asked for forgiveness from them and from my heavenly Father. I HATE when I lose my cool with them. I have written often about my short fuse, but God really, really has been doing a work in that area of my life. The fuse is growing, for sure...I have been much better at applying "a gentle answer turns away wrath." I love these boys SO MUCH.

I have told them that 100 times since this morning...I pray that they remember me as a loving, fun mom. I am resting in God's grace for sure.

My uncle Mike just reminded me via Facebook that my love for them is UNCONDITIONAL. Thanks for that reminder...he also wrote that one day they will be afraid of ME embarrassing them...smile.